I've Started Pulling My Hair!
Have you started pulling your hair? Or has someone you know developed this “habit”?
You (or they) are not alone.
Millions of people have what’s called trichotillomania, a long word for hair pulling disorder, which is closely related to other obsessive compulsive disorders (OCD) or impulse control disorders. To be clear, it is NOT self-harm (like cutting) and it’s actually used a soothing technique to reduce anxiety or other negative emotions.
It can be scary to realize you’re pulling your hair and you’re not sure why. Why does pulling my hair feel good? How do I stop pulling my hair out? Why am I pulling my hair out? All valid and complex questions.
Luckily, there’s tons of resources to help you.
You are not alone and you can gain control of what feels like a completely out of control situation.
You will need to determine a few things before deciding which method of treatment is best for you. Are you aware when you pull your hair or unaware? Do you do it at night? While driving? If you know your trigger places or situations, you can prepare yourself with fidget items (here’s a list of my favorite products), or you can decide on which therapy or hair pulling resistance device is best for you.
I started pulling my hair in middle school. It stopped in high school and resumed again in college and has been part of my life ever since. I am now in my mid-thirties. I control it using fidgets, awareness and have recently started a therapy called EFT which I talk about here.
A therapist chimes in on the best therapy for hair pulling in this post.
I’ve also found reducing sugar and caffeine, exercising and taking probiotics daily helps how to stop pulling my hair. Lots of people swear by the supplement NAC (N-Acetyl-l-Cysteine). *Please discuss any supplement or new diet/exercise routine with your doctor before starting. I am not a therapist or a medical professional. The brand I use is below.
Pulling out your hair is not weird. You are not a freak. You are probably even at school or work with others who have trichotillomania but since people don’t talk about it openly, you just don’t know. Yes, it’s that common.
It’s grouped in what’s called a “Body Focused Repetitive Behavior” (usually abbreviated as bfrb) so if you search #bfrb or #bfrbawareness you will find tons of resources on Instagram and other social networks about skin picking, nail biting and hair pulling. They’re all repetitive behaviors one does to the body to lower anxiety, stress or any other unwanted emotion. Think of the toddler who can’t give up sucking his thumb. It makes him feel soothed, calm, comforted.
Other hashtags to look for would be #hairpullingdisorder #trichster #trichotillomania and #trich
Some great Instagram accounts to follow if you’re wanting more information or treatment, check out: @tapintohealthllc @kimberleyquinlan @tlcbfrb @prettyandpolishedblog @habitaware and for some laughs: @trichotillomemeia
Some things to remember:
You are not your hair.
There are ways to reduce or stop pulling your hair—it’s just going to take time, persistence and a lot of work (kind of like every other damn thing in this world.)
Your beauty and worth are not defined by your lack of hair or your fullness of hair.
I’ve found talking openly about my disorder has greatly reduced the shame I feel around it. Here are some ways to talk to others about pulling out your hair.
My direct messages on Instagram and Facebook are always open, and although I’m not a therapist, I have been dealing with pulling my hair for 23 years and understand the complexities and emotions that go along with it. I can be a non-judgmental friend. And I will never tell you to “just stop pulling your hair.”
Comment below if you have questions about trichotillomania and I hope you’ll join me on Instagram every Friday for “Pull Less Friday”. It’s a group chat and with lots of people who struggle with hair pulling on there to cheer you on and encourage you when you feel like you can’t stop pulling hair out.
You are certainly not alone.
